Christmas Spirit

Take a moment to stop among all the chaos of the holidays, and think about your Christmas Spirit. Where, or how do you find your Christmas Spirit?

After researching the topic, one newspaper reporter found that the "Christmas Spirit" is in one's heart. Does it hit when we unpack our decorations and start playing Christmas music? Does it happen when we decorate our tree. Is it more about presents?

I can honestly say for the past years, I've had no Christmas Spirit. I've actually felt more of a Scrooge. I could not even listen to Christmas music. My mom passed away six years ago and since then, Thanksgiving and Christmas haven't been the same.  On the outside I may had a smile, but on the inside I felt angry, hurt and  sad. Going shopping was the worst because my mother and I would do this together. It was a our ritual, although at times I would complain about her sly comments, I miss her; I miss her companionship and her voice.  When I see women with their mother's I get  sentimental, and I miss sharing those moments. 

 "Where or how do we find our Christmas Spirit?"  This year, I found my Christmas Spirit in my memories. Those memories I have of my mother. The memories of getting together for breakfast and planning our shopping days.  The memories of taking her to buy special dough for tamale making. Memories of her absurd, or silly conversations.  This year I put up a Christmas tree, and lights, I did my Christmas shopping alone, and was okay with it.  When I saw other women with their mothers, I smiled and  I remembered my mother, who I realize I carry in my memories and heart.